Hey, did you know your parenting style is not the key to a successful family?
I know it sounds crazy because we’re so used to hearing about gentle or authoritative parenting, and while those are important, I’m going to share three secrets with you today that’s going to revolutionize the way you define and achieve success for your family.
I’m Zef Neary and I am certified business and family life coach who has helped parents escape resentment and overwhelm and helped them change the direction of their families.
So what is the secret to building successful families?
To begin, it’s developing your family's purpose and plan.
It’s developing a system of shared family values, a vision of who you are and where you're going, and a plan of how to get there.
So I’m going to share with you 3 secrets about developing your family's purpose and plan and how you can use this system to escape overwhelm, resentment, feeling stuck, and change the direction of your family.
And I know what you’re probably thinking: isn’t how we parent the center of how we raise our family?
It definitely orbits the center. What I’m going to show you is how your parenting style only addresses the symptoms of conflict, and not the root.
So let's discuss the first secret: discovering your family’s shared values.
The big idea here is that a set of shared values forms the foundation for your family’s identity and culture, which harmonizes your family’s efforts and resources.
This is important because values make decisions so much easier. When your family is faced with a choice, you simply ask which choice aligns with your values. When you all share a set of values, that reduces the conflict between individual family members’ values that may compete. I'm sure you've all seen cases where a culture clash ruins a merger and acquisition--or a reunion. Marriage and family is a microcosm of a merger and acquisition! So, if your individual values clash, so will your family. Parenting styles may help you resolve conflict, but developing a set of shared values will help resolve the root of that conflict.
So what's the second secret?
The second secret is building a vision on your shared values.
The main thing to understand here is that your family needs a destination that everyone cares about and wants to reach.
Just imagine, if you and your spouse or partner have a different vision for the family and a different idea as to what your role is to helping the family get there, you will either end up pushing or pulling against each other’s expectations. It's that competition, and the resulting winners and losers, that's creating the confusion, resentment, and anger in your family.
The third secret is developing a shared plan of how your family will achieve its vision.
Even if you agree on the vision, miscommunication will change the destination.
This is key because just like in any supply and logistics operation, a shared plan is critical to ensuring the right parts are at the right places at the right times. Just as each of your vendors or manufacturers don’t use the same machines, you and your spouse or partner don’t have to parent in the same way, but you have to communicate and account for those differences.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. It’s difficult to get any organization, large or small, and especially a family in pain, to develop a shared sense of anything.
Well the tricky thing is that it that it takes asking the right questions, being curious, and having the courage to be vulnerable, which can be uncomfortable for many. The first step to healing, is re-connecting. The first step to re-connecting is understanding, and the first step to understanding is dialogue.
That’s why we’ve developed a workbook your family can use as the basis for that dialogue so you can discoverand determine your shared values, purpose, and plan.
We've taken the best business, family, and coaching principles out there and merged them into a comprehensive system that addresses and solves the root causes of family overwhelm, being stuck, and growing apart. We take the guesswork out of the how and help you with the implementation so you're not doing it alone.
And so what this workbook is going to do for you is provide you a sure-fire way to re-connect with your family at a deeper level. It’s going to help you discover what you and your family really value versus what the world wants you to care about. Finally, and most important, it’s going to give you a chance to lead your family in a new direction.
Hey, did you know your parenting style is not the key to a successful family?
I know it sounds crazy because we’re so used to hearing about gentle or authoritative parenting, and while those are important, I’m going to share three secrets with you today that’s going to revolutionize the way you define and achieve success for your family.
I’m Zef Neary and I am certified business and family life coach who has helped parents escape resentment and overwhelm and helped them change the direction of their families.
So what is the secret to building successful families?
To begin, it’s developing your family's purpose and plan.
It’s developing a system of shared family values, a vision of who you are and where you're going, and a plan of how to get there.
So I’m going to share with you 3 secrets about developing your family's purpose and plan and how you can use this system to escape overwhelm, resentment, feeling stuck, and change the direction of your family.
And I know what you’re probably thinking: isn’t how we parent the center of how we raise our family?
It definitely orbits the center. What I’m going to show you is how your parenting style only addresses the symptoms of conflict, and not the root.
So let's discuss the first secret: discovering your family’s shared values.
The big idea here is that a set of shared values forms the foundation for your family’s identity and culture, which harmonizes your family’s efforts and resources.
This is important because values make decisions so much easier. When your family is faced with a choice, you simply ask which choice aligns with your values. When you all share a set of values, that reduces the conflict between individual family members’ values that may compete. I'm sure you've all seen cases where a culture clash ruins a merger and acquisition--or a reunion. Marriage and family is a microcosm of a merger and acquisition! So, if your individual values clash, so will your family. Parenting styles may help you resolve conflict, but developing a set of shared values will help resolve the root of that conflict.
So what's the second secret?
The second secret is building a vision on your shared values.
The main thing to understand here is that your family needs a destination that everyone cares about and wants to reach.
Just imagine, if you and your spouse or partner have a different vision for the family and a different idea as to what your role is to helping the family get there, you will either end up pushing or pulling against each other’s expectations. It's that competition, and the resulting winners and losers, that's creating the confusion, resentment, and anger in your family.
The third secret is developing a shared plan of how your family will achieve its vision.
Even if you agree on the vision, miscommunication will change the destination.
This is key because just like in any supply and logistics operation, a shared plan is critical to ensuring the right parts are at the right places at the right times. Just as each of your vendors or manufacturers don’t use the same machines, you and your spouse or partner don’t have to parent in the same way, but you have to communicate and account for those differences.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. It’s difficult to get any organization, large or small, and especially a family in pain, to develop a shared sense of anything.
Well the tricky thing is that it that it takes asking the right questions, being curious, and having the courage to be vulnerable, which can be uncomfortable for many. The first step to healing, is re-connecting. The first step to re-connecting is understanding, and the first step to understanding is dialogue.
That’s why we’ve developed a workbook your family can use as the basis for that dialogue so you can discoverand determine your shared values, purpose, and plan.
We've taken the best business, family, and coaching principles out there and merged them into a comprehensive system that addresses and solves the root causes of family overwhelm, being stuck, and growing apart. We take the guesswork out of the how and help you with the implementation so you're not doing it alone.
And so what this workbook is going to do for you is provide you a sure-fire way to re-connect with your family at a deeper level. It’s going to help you discover what you and your family really value versus what the world wants you to care about. Finally, and most important, it’s going to give you a chance to lead your family in a new direction.
Copyright 2023 - All The Rights Reserved - Terms of Service - Privacy Policy
