I grew up in a family of 9 kids. Both my parents came from dysfunctional homes. They loved me and each other the very best they could while dealing with their own childhood pain, programming, and mental health challenges. Yet, sometimes our parents' best can still be traumatizing.

From the time I was a freshman in highschool up through when I married Melissa in college, my parents separated roughly 15 times and divorced and remarried each other twice.

Despite the trauma, the pain, and confusion I experienced growing up, my parents still managed to give me an incredible gift--an appreciation for the importance of family and a desire for a family of my own. I really, really wanted to get this family thing right.

As a husband and father, I experienced a lot of fear. I worried about making the wrong choice, experienced anxiety, and struggled with behaviors like overeating and pornography. I was afraid of any emotion other than happy, so I suppressed or distracted myself from negative emotions hard and masked often. I didn't know how to communicate my needs and desires to my wife, so I buried them and planted resentment in the place of healthy communication.

I struggled with knowing how to succeed at work while balancing being present at home. I was torn between thoughts of how much further ahead I could be at work, but worried about how behind I was at home.

I struggled to be present with my kids and with my wife when she was struggling with postpartum depression, anxiety, and autoimmune disorders. Because I was constantly distracting myself so I didn't have to feel, I lacked vision for my family, leaving my wife to bear that heavy burden of family leadership on her own. I struggled with feelings of shame and guilt about my ability to lead my family.

(If you're experiencing this, you are not alone!)

I knew there had to be a better way to handling life's difficulties other than hiding from them, a better way to communicate with my spouse, and a better way to creating a stable, resilient, and successful family.

I just needed to find that path.

I'm happy to report, I've found that path.

Then I started applying the patterns, principles, and tools I discovered while working in military units, at work, at church, and at home. The crazy thing? They were the same principles every time. The issue? Because I was learning them in different environments, I didn't know how to apply them when the environment changed.

As I practiced, I discovered how to adapt military leadership principles for business and business principles for home. I took all of these different tools from education, military, and business leadership and synthesized them into tools that I could easily use in my own family.

The results surprised me. I found it easy to make quick, confident decisions for my family because my wife and I understood each other, were connected, and on the same page. My marriage and intimacy took off. My emotional, physical, and spiritual health improved drastically, and because of this, I, and my wife, had the capacity to have 9 kids (3 biological, 4 adopted, 2 foster) between the ages of 10 and 6 months...and we're thriving!

Now I'm on a mission to share these principles with as many business owners and their families as possible. Why? Because I understand the frustration, pain, fear, and loneliness that comes when our most important relationships are suffering. I've seen how that suffering then translates into the workplace. The pain at home compounds in the workplace, which then rebounds back into the home in deathly spiral. And I know these tools will help bring connection, understanding, healing, and change to your family!


Our world and society needs courageous business leaders who can model how to create value in the market and at home; we need business leaders who can create strong, ethical business AND family cultures; and we need business leaders who can teach their children through example how to innovate solutions to vexing problems.


I'm inviting you to join me in the movement to creating Courageous Families that have the tools, resources, and knowledge to succeed and last.

Hello, I'm Zef. I'm a lot like you

(Sample) I am a mother of 4, a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and a woman trying to figure out how to minimize resentment, overwhelm and guilt, and replace them with happiness, gratitude and joy.

Three years after getting married I found myself with two kids under age 2, a loving husband, and a lot of self-loathing. I struggled with the duties associated with being a mom and wife and then I felt guilty for feeling that way. After all, this was the life I thought I’d always wanted.

I have a BA in Communications and an MA in Adult Education along with 15 years of experience as a Corporate Trainer and Leadership Coach, but what has helped me the most to overcome my struggles and to conquer all of my goals, are the tools I use now to coach my clients. Thanks to my extensive training with Brooke Castillo of The Life Coach School, I am now a Certified Life Coach, and I couldn’t be more proud of the work I get to do in the world.